Tomorrow is publication day for Coping with Chloe and I'm excited - sort of. Except I'm not, because this is my third publication day (the first two were for my novels for adults) and I've learnt from bitter experience...
You wake up thinking it's going to be every childhood Christmas and birthday rolled into one, plus the day of your first Brownie pack holiday, plus the day you left home for university...
Actually, my publication days so far have been a bit like those latter two things - dire disappointments! No one's fault - certainly not my lovely publishers or my loyal fans (hey there, both of you :) ) or my beloved family and friends... just me for getting over-excited about something that turns out to be a bit of a non-event.
Not sure what I expected, exactly. Being woken by a call to be interviewed by James Naughtie on Radio 4's Today? Reporters hammering at the door, cameras in tow? Heat magazine offering me large sums of the money for the lowdown on my steamy love life? (hey, turn off the bathroom tap someone, please...)
None of those things happened the last two times and I'm pretty sure they won't this time, either. If I'm lucky, the 'Pre-order' icon on the Amazon page will change to 'Add to shopping basket'. Perhaps, if I stay awake till midnight, I will even see it change! (No, that's ridiculously sad.) With luck, some reviews will appear...
But Monday 21st March will be an ordinary day, and for that, I know, I should be grateful. There are terrible things going on in the world that put book publication well and truly in its place, and I should be thankful for a safe, warm, well-fed, unthreatened life for myself and my loved ones (touch wood, as my grandma used to say).
And believe me, I am thankful. I've got plans to meet up with a friend tomorrow, someone I've not seen for 5 or more years. That will be wonderful. And I shall be getting down to a few household tasks and to my daily writing stint, and tuning into The Archers at 7pm. Life is rich and exciting and I'm very lucky to have been published at all.
But hey... if anyone out there is listening... if Stephen Fry needs someone new for QI, I'm here with my hand up! Stephen, James, Mariella Frostrup - coooeeee!!!!
